Mental Health Day

So last night as I was attempting to fall asleep, everything that I had to get done was buzzing in my head and keeping me awake. This morning was not good either, so I called in sick. I have gotten most of the things I need done, like mail in my transcript requests, finish my grad school app, and such. I still need to fill out an app for the job at Longwood I saw posted, and to write my essay for my grad school app. Most everything else is done now though! I applied to Chesterfield Co. which is kinda funny bc I did my student teaching there and vowed never to go back, but it could be a job and it's definitely closer to where I want to be.

I have got to find a way to deal with my stress because I can't just take a "mental health day" everytime I realize there is much to be done. I hope that I get accepted into Longwood so I can get my Masters of Special Education. I feel like if I don't do something with my life soon I might end up in a mental ward. I am just so annoyed that I haven't been able to get a contact job and having to pay for insurance out of pocket is not pretty... It feels like it's just one thing after another since I got out of college. Lame.

Well, I should be working on my essay, so I guess I need to stop playing online and go back to getting that done.

Stress Overload!

Ugh...I seriously need a vacation from this house! I have lived away from home for the last 5 years, and due to events out of my hands I have found myself living back home to save some money... However, it is starting to wear out my patience. I have been looking into going to Grad school for my MS in Special Ed, and the main school is where my boyfriend is coaching which is great. Well, my mother seemed to feel that unless he wanted to put a ring on my finger then she was going to cut me off if I moved out there. AHH. She knows I want to have my life under control before I committee to anyone, and he can't afford to support the both of us right now. I feel like I have to always explain every detail of my life to her and I don't think I should have to do that. If she is going to hold money over my head as a way to manipulate my life than she can keep it and I will find a way. I don't like that. I want to be happy, and he makes me happy. We have talked about getting married, and eventually it will happen, just not right now. I want to be settled in a job and have things in perspective. I know that when the time is right it will happen, so why push it just because I want to move out that way? Blahhh. I really needed to vent....


Anyhow... today I went to Brittany's mom's house to start on the bridesmaids dresses. They are going to be really pretty! I had to have mine taken in a lil more in the lower back bc my bubble butt created a big gap between my back and butt that looked like i had a weird pooch haha. I didn't really help with the dresses, but I made brownie sundays! I'm good at the food thing, so I will stick to that hahaha.

Next weekend I am going to visit my boyfriend so I am looking forward to that. Getting out and spending time with him will be good for me. I love my family, but living here has made me really moody lately and I know it's time for me to move on.

2010!

Happy New Year! It has started off pretty good, so we will see what happens throughout 2010. Brett and I have spent the last 3 New Years together. Hopefully this year will be better for us and we won't have to deal with anymore stupid drama. I think it will be different now that he is in Farmville, and I have a steady job so money isn't a factor in the problems now. I just hope I am able to find a good job there this summer, and for next school year. I want to be able to move there by this summer, but that won't happen unless I can get a job around there.
Also, friendships that have had issues seem to be resolving themselves, so hopefully this year will be better along the lines of strained relationships and drama. It's not high school or even college anymore, welcome to the real world. I have learned a lot about myself, and been somewhat surprised about how much I put up with and when I need to cut ties. I hope that my ability to deal with things can carry over into the work field, I know I will need all the patience I can get with the way things are going right now.
I have hope that I will be able to move up from here and things will gradually get better. They might not be how I had imagined things being after college, but they aren't so bad that I can really sit here and complain about it either. I have a great boyfriend, a good group of friends, and a warm bed to sleep in and a job to pay the bills. Setting goals is more along my lines than making a new years resolution, so my goals are going to be to save up some money, make good financial choices, and get a better job, or equivalent one around Brett and get my own apt. Now that my car is paid off I will have that money to be able to pay for insurance and I hope I can find a job that will offer benefits so I won't have to pay so much out of pocket. We will see how these pan out over the year. So here's to a great year!